So I’ve been pretty M.I.A. here lately, but there’s a solid reason for that. Something I have been wishing for, manifesting, and working toward for nearly four years has come to fruition—my husband and I were FINALLY able to relocate to Tucson, Arizona. Most days, I still can’t believe we finally made it here. Even though this is something we’ve wanted for a long time, it didn’t come without trials and tribulations.
Though I’m just starting this chapter of my life, I’ve learned some things that have helped me stay sane. While there is no way to avoid the natural stress and discomfort that comes with such a huge life change, these tips do help with mindset.
So, if you too are planning a cross country move, buckle up and get acquainted with the uncomfies. It’s impossible to change, grow, and evolve without going through some discomfort, but hopefully these tips will keep the growing pains to a minimum.
Maintain An Open Mind With Limited Expectations
It’s totally normal to visualize how something is going to play out. We know what we want, how we want to feel, and what we want to gain from a big life change. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always go accordingly. So while you’re likely to benefit greatly from your giant leap of faith, it probably won’t be the utopia you had envisioned.
Experiencing some hiccups along the way doesn’t mean that your choice or desire for change was wrong. It just means that you’re diving headfirst into life; and in doing so, you’re opening yourself up to all of the good, bad, and in-between that is the human experience.
Maintaining an open mind will allow you to see and appreciate the positive things happening, rather than focusing on what isn’t going “right.” When we go into an experience with any sort of expectation, we often limit ourselves to what we’re willing to receive. Unfortunately, this can lead to missed opportunities, biases, and jaded attitudes.
Remember to Take the Good With The Bad
We keep our fingers and toes crossed that things run smoothly when preparing for a cross country move. But my experience showed me that smooth sailing is rarely the case. For every one thing that goes accordingly, 3 hiccups follow. I very quickly began to realize that these “hiccups” were likely preparing me for the big change unfolding.
In order to acclimate and adjust, you have to be patient, optimistic, and open-minded. Each time something goes wrong, try asking yourself what you can take from the situation. Do you need to slow down and be more present? Do you need to loosen up and go with the flow? Or do you simply need to learn to accept a new norm?
Stay Present
I firmly believe that staying present in our world today is one of our greatest weaknesses. This is something that most of us have realized we need to work on. Sometimes it truly takes being pushed so far out of your comfort zone that the only comfortable place to land is right where you are. If you feel like you need to ground yourself, take an extra moment to look around, smell the fresh air, and appreciate all that you have already accomplished.
A cross country move, or any major life change for that matter, comes with a never ending to-do list. If you try to digest that entire list at once, I guarantee you’re going to overwhelm yourself. One thing that has helped me stay focused on the present has been making lists. That’s probably why two of my favorite birthday/Christmas gifts this year were a planner and a productivity notebook! Fair warning though, if you’re an anxious human like me, staying present will likely be a bit tricky.
Hold Tight To Your Truth
The people in your life are likely going to have a plethora of opinions regarding your move. “Why are you moving THERE?” “Aren’t you going to miss friends and family?” “You’ll probably be back in a few years.” Whatever their options are, take them with a grain of salt. Regardless of your level of support, you have to do what’s best for you. You aren’t living this life for anyone except yourself.
This doesn’t mean that you should be insensitive to the feelings of those around you. Just make sure you don’t make a decision for someone else. It’s also worth noting that sometimes, people express their opinions harshly, because they don’t know how to process what they’re feeling. If these difficult opinions are coming from people that you love, try making some time to discuss the feelings surrounding the move.
Be Patient With Yourself
All of the fear and anxiety you’re feeling is your brain’s natural way of trying to protect you. Survival instincts tell us to hold onto the known and comfortable, because the unknown comes with “threats” that you aren’t yet prepared to deal with. Just know that you can’t execute a big move without experiencing these natural, human emotions.
Because this type of change comes with so many stressors, it’s really easy to criticize and beat yourself up over every little thing—You got a little too overstimulated and anxious while out at your new grocery store. You didn’t engage with that stranger the way you normally would have. You haven’t called and texted family and friends as much as you promised you would. You haven’t found employment as quickly as you anticipated.
Just remember that this is the very first time you’ve lived in this moment, and you’re likely handling it the best way you can. Showing yourself some grace with go a long way, I promise.
Try To Plan One Thing Each Day
When you make a big move, it can be extremely easy to hole up in your new apartment or house. As someone with anxiety, trust that I know this to be true. One thing I’ve found to be helpful is planning to do a least one thing outside of your home each and every day. This one thing could be as simple as walking your dog around your neighborhood, going to the grocery store, checking out a park, or driving around the city to learn your bearings.
Recognize That There Is No Right Way To Adjust
Be prepared for the floodgates of advice to open up when you move. Within a few days…yes, a few days, of living in Tucson people were reaching out with advice on how to get settled. The primary advice was to meet people as quickly as possible. I know that this advice came from a loving place, but I began to feel like I wasn’t making enough of an effort to fit in. This is the exact moment I realized how important it is to be patient and give yourself GRACE.
Three months in, and though I have not joined any groups or clubs, I’m adjusting just fine. I was able to find a job within a few months, I’ve met lots of interesting people, and I’ve done a fair bit of exploring. Most importantly, I found what works for me.
It’s also worth noting that part of the reason I wanted to relocate was to get to know myself. I wanted to know what it felt like to have only myself (and my husband) to rely on. I couldn’t think of a better way to feel stronger and more empowered than making a cross country move.
Takeaway
Making a cross country move is such an exciting, rewarding experience. But it’s also one of the most terrifying things you will ever do. However, pushing past the fear and diving headfirst into a new environment will undoubtedly change you for the better. In the midst of the chaos, just remember to be PROUD of yourself for saying “yes” to life! For that, you are already doing something right.